Nothing but Me

Mood Swing:

Whenever I see wedding pictures in the mags, frensters, newspapers or any prints..
~The one hus hair flowed over her shoulders, wearing a silky white gown hus beads glitters like that of the stars. White flowers all around as if she were in a holy garden...The one who wore the golden tiara on a brunette hair, while the long , luscious veil whose lenght seems endless adds to the delight in her beautiful face. As she walk down the aisle, his gorgeous looking groom awaits at the holy altar..That wedding cud have been mine *sigh

Whenever I see a pregnant woman touching the bulging part of her tummy. Smiling to herself as if she knew what the baby will look like...
~It gives me a sudden thrill and a strike of envy to the womb who can hold a living.
Then I tell ma self...That lady, cud have been me *sigh

Whenever I see little boys and girls playing around the busy streets. Babies strolling down underthe gracious morning sunrays.
~ I can feel the sudden stab in my heart as I watch them wearing a facade smile.
That children whom I really adore most cud have been mine *sigh

Yes..I cry..under the blanket of my solitude I cry..helplessly. I just cant stop my tear glands from bursting all the salty liquid that paved its way to my watery eyes.
All those things cud have been me..cud have been mine..But as time slipping away, the vision of such came unreasonably blurred..
I cried for a wedding that cannot and will never ever happen to me.
I cried for a womb that I dunno if can bear a child of my own.
I cried for a child that I will and cant have...
~~These were my dreams..my completion..and yet others taken for granted....

~~an excerpt from my thoughts