Nothing but Me

Mood Swing:

Your Japanese Name Is...

Tokiko Askikaga

Your Japanese Name Is...

Ritsuko Kuga

Your Japanese Name Is...

Yuki Matsumoto

*****

hahah..ang gulo...one lng nmn name ko ang dmi ng equivalent n japanese name...gwabee, try niu...praning ata eh.hahahah

Mood Swing:

Today..am celebrating my birth's silver anniversary...gwosh..dnt ask me how young am i now. It's mere obvious.heheheh.
For the past 25 years of my life, did i done the best things..or it is yet to come? i dunno.
All I can say is that I hve done my part of the bargain and I'm expecting more humps to come on my way...soon..
Hmmm....here's the list of wat had gone with me since then.....
* I was supposed to get married at the age of 23 but to no avail, it was move.....waaahhh!
* Now the marriage thing is at the midst of a hanging bridge, whether it will fail or not. Hu knows.
* One of my dreams came true, by having a house of our own (loan nga lang :P, but atleast ok n rin)
* I realized that I really wanna be a writer.heheheh...

I CAN'T SAY GOODBYE TO YOU
-Helen Reddy-

you say it would be better
if we stopped seeing each other
if you had only met me first
when you were free
'cause now you've got commitment
i should not expect things from you
that you can't give to me
oh, but baby, can't you see
i can't say goodbye to you
no matter how i tried
you're such a part of me
withour you, i would die
deep, in the heart of me
i know that you and i
were meant to be be together
i can't tell you goodbye
neither of us planned
that we would fall in love this way
but since we did
why should we be apart
sometimes, some things happen
that can never be explained
now, it's too late for me
i've already given you my heart
i can't say goodbye to you
no matter how i tried
you're such a part of me
withour you, i would die
deep, in the heart of me
i know that you and i
were meant to be be together
i can't tell you goodbye
who knows why we choose
when we choose the ones we love
who knows why we do the things
we do when we're in love
i know that you're a decent man
and you try to do what's best
but how can i forget
all the feelings we have shared
i can't say goodbye to you
no matter how i tried
you're such a part of me
withour you, i would die
deep, in the heart of me
i know that you and i
were meant to be be together
i can't tell you goodbye
(you and i were meant to be, forever)
i can't tell you goodbye

Boy: Humarap k nga skin
Girl: Ayoko nga
Boy: Bkit umiiyak ka? Wag kng umiyak
Girl: Hindi ako umiiyak. Amoy sibuyas kc kamay mo kya naiiyak ako (trying hard to ease the moment)
Boy: Ang hina mo naman eh. Kausapin mo ako. Lumaban ka...(*Ipaglaban mo ang nraramdaman natin, *ipaglaban rin ako)

I'm sorry iyakin talga akow at mahina kya nga kailangan kita to be here always dahil mahina lang ako...I cannot speak my heart out, dhil pag ginwa ko un, I know I cant control my tears from flowing...That's how weak I am, the same reason why I need u most.

MooD:
7:30= I left home, so I can catch up to the 9 o'clock workshop at QC.
9:05= I arrived. Kakainis nga lang kc feeling so alone. Lock in the solitude
of my own. waahhh..Halos lahat kc cla tropa na. This shud be the
second day, but since I didnt attent the first one, na left bhind na kow.
Lahat sila, chika to the max, while here I am, stumbling on my foot, trying to convince myself. its ok to be alone. Shy type din kc akow. I didnt mingle with the rest.
Until it was tym to go to the Conference room. And everything follows after that.
Around 6:30 pm= My turmoil came rushing. Here.....Lintiang driver yun ah! Akalain ba namang ibaba ako s gitna ng kalsada ng West Ave. I told him n dun s mrt station.
Pero this was the conversation we had;

Driver: Ayun na ang mrt (sabay turo)

Me: Akala ko dadaan to ng mrt?
Driver: Hanggang dito na lang kami.
Me: Eh saan ang tawiran dto?
Driver: Malayo pa (pertaining to the footbridge)
Me: Ganun!
Driver: Bumaba ka nlang tapos lakarin mo hangang dun, tpos dun kna tumawid.
Me: (Expecting n may pedestrian line...bumaba naman ako.)
Pagbaba ko..aba....lang pedestrian dun pla. Nasa gitna ako ng kalsada, no way out..ambibilis ng mga sasakyan nuh...."Oh my God" nga ako ng "Oh my God" eh.
Sa isip-isip ko lng...marami pakong mga pangarap s buhay, kung masagasaan man akow dto, baka instead na kaawaan ako, bka sbihin ang tanga-tanga ko kc wala nmng pedes. line dun eh..hay naku..kailan mag-isip..so isip..isip akow.
Aha! Bumalik ako dun s pinag-Uturn ng jeep then sakay ulit ako khit bawal sumakay dun.
Ang hirap talga paghinahabol mo ung jeep..ang hirap pa ng shoes ko..ang tulis tulis ng dulo. Sana pinangsaksak ko nlng dun s driver na my ksalanan ng paghihirap kong un...hay nku.
Until nakarating nga ako s footbridge tapos, sa wakas nkatawid nko s kabilang ibayo. *sigh.."Salamat naman."
Isa lng ang pinagsisihan ko...Sana man lang...Namura ko yung driver na un...hmmpp...grrrrr!.

MooD:

- ul never understand me..kc mahina ang boses ng puso mo dun...
- wag na..bka magkagalit nnmn tau..ok n ung gn2 civil lng..pra lng taung acquaintance.;-)
- sana sinabi mo rin..inde nmn masama mgsahre..tutal fren mo nmn xa dB? ako i share my sentiments...galing nga e.. kc i found a true fren in him..parang at last me nakakakilala na sakin ng ind eko kmg-anak...d b dati u ask me that Q? ang sabi ko tatay ko lng..heheh at least somehow he knows me w/o pretentions...
- yup aminin man ntin o inde ngayon lng uli tau nguusap ng gn2..at nalamatan n kung ano man ang meron tau..but d good thing is me "patch" nmn..un nga lng me lamat p rin dB?
- no way a! tapos n ntin ung gnung usapan db? dun nga tau ngkroon ng misunderstanding db? kya nga till now d2 lng tau nag-uusap e! hehehe joke! :p
- FYI lng h? d ako santa! meron din me frailties..at alam ko un! hehe kaya inde ako ngmmlinis...lalong inde ko hinuhugasan ang sarili kong kasalanan na sa tingin koy napakadami n rin! mahal ko rin nmn ang sarili ko e..un nga lng like we've said..at ang lagi nillinya mo..iisa lng ang dough na ginamit stin pero " we boil at different degree"

Today I lost her, not merely physical but emotional.I will never understand..thats wat she always tells me. Did I? or Did she?
I try my best to make things up..to patch things out. But I realized that there are things that are just not meant to be.
I thought I knew her, I thought she knew me, I thought were friends..But that's all only in my mind.
How can I be so damn, so insensitive. I thought something was there, but it never was. How long was that? I wonder.Well, I think this is it.
Friendship is like a mirror. Double sided or one way.
It depends on how you look at it. Once broken, will never be the same any longer.
Am I bitter? If I say no...I'm a hypocrite.
If I say yes..damn this is the worst.
But I stand in between...Bitter? Yes, slightly..
Bitter in a way that, I thought that everything was ok.
She treat me as a friend, as a confidante as someone special.
But the truth is that, she never did..I am only an acquinatance.
The shallow truth, I have to accept because I cannot understand and nver been understood.